“It’s a batsman’s game isn’t it,” he chuckled. 

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6 October 2016. 10:30

Greg Salmon | Editor

As Aaron Finch and David Warner strode to the middle in Wednesday’s third one-day match, a former Australian captain was licking his lips in the commentary box. He was not caressing his once-existent moustache, either. “Beautiful day here in Durban,” says Allan Border. “The pitch is flat and the outfield looks lighting fast. These are the days to get set as a batsman”.

Once the openers began teeing off Steyn and Rabada, the Queenslander could spell trouble. “This will be tough work for the South African bowlers. Australia must have their sights set on 300”. But Wacol labourer and long-time viewer Neil Simon disagreed with Border’s analysis. “One day they’ll make 500,” he scoffed. “Warner could get 300 if he stopped throwing his wicket away”.

Indeed, Warner threw his wicket away – to the leg-spin of Imran Tahir for 117. Though this only left South Africa to the mercy of Steve Smith, who flayed his way to a century. “Very good innings from Steve Smith,” says Border. “A good return to form”. Simon was not so forgiving. “Where was this in Sri Lanka? Smith’s nothing but a flat-track weasel. Bring back AB. Now there’s a fuckin’ captain”.

As Australia advanced past 350 in the dying overs, Border showed he had not lost his captaincy prowess. “Just get some bat on it and run,” he said.